Words are powerful.
Words can hurt and words can heal.
Words can be misinterpreted, misunderstood.
The meaning of words can change. The meaning of 'slow' now means a few seconds when working on a computer. New words are created and find their way into the written dictionaries.
To put this into context, I was born in 1949, making me a young 68. I grew up in a time before computers and cell phones. A time when words were exchanged in person or over the landline telephone or in letter form that we now call 'snail mail' that was delivered by the post office.
Words hurt me when I was misunderstood. I resisted being labeled. In grade school we had to fill out a survey form. My answer to the question about my nationality was CANADIAN. Apparently that was not an acceptable answer. The teacher told me so. She said the question meant, where were my parents born. I said Canada.
Even back then we got caught in the web of lies we told. Now with surveillance and cell phone cameras everywhere and social media sites, we are even more at risk of being over exposed. Caught in our webs. Our past is now dragged into our futures as we job hunt or apply for college. Our online presence is examined as the truth about us, even if we have changed. We are judged without the opportunity of defending ourselves. We are labelled by the childish actions of our past. It may even affect our freedom as countries we travel to refuse our entrance. We chip away at chunks of our own freedom, narrowing our scope of future endeavours.
Words so publicly used now, stripping away opportunities to enter politics, land jobs that involve travelling to other countries, pursuing musical or acting careers and so much more.
One day while my friend drove me home from the Cancer Clinic appointment, I told her about an upcoming treatment I feared. She said something about 'at least it's only 8 hours'. I said something like, 'you're right.'
A month later I saw her again. She asked me if I was still mad at her? Turned out she had stayed away from church because she thought I was mad at her. Truth was I was telling all our mutual church friends how much what she had said had helped me go through the treatment.
In my work life, my instructions sometimes were misunderstood. Turned out my words could be read two different ways.
Years ago I had the opportunity to read my medical file. I found mistakes. It said my paternal grandfather had had cancer. Not true. My moms dad did. The file said I had recently quit smoking. Truth is I only tried smoking a few times as a teenager. I did not smoke. I wanted all the mistakes in my file to be corrected. I was told that only the doctor that wrote it, could change it. A near impossible task. So these mistakes follow me as the truth about me.
You get the picture.
Sometimes mistakes and misunderstandings result in life changing gifts. Like my stay in hospital when a psychiatrist resident made daily visits to me. His assessment was that I was depressed because one day he found me in bed and I did not sit up when he arrived. Then he commented the next day that I was doing better because I had immediately sat up on the side of the bed. I can only imagine what he wrote in my file. Truth was, I had just returned from a marathon walk of the hospital halls the first day and had just gotten comfortable in bed when he arrived. I wasn't going to move for any reason. The next day I was not physically exhausted from walking the halls and had the energy to sit up and entertain the fledgling doctor. His misunderstandings because he did not bother to check if his assumptions were accurate, turned out to be a wonderful gift in my life. Once I was back home, I got a call from the Mental Health department asking if I wanted to take the Later Life 8 week course. Yep... This led to accessing other free programs like ear acupuncture, yoga, nutrition programs and more.
There are as many different views of the same me as there are those looking.
The inspirational quote on the current level I am playing on Oprahs online game, Bold Moves, is 'You're Your Own Hero'. A message that inspires me, an affirmation I am told every time I play.
We are the expert of our own body, our own lives. We are the only one that knows all the story details, the only one that has a clear view. Professionals are experts in their field, part of the team. I chose to trust my wise knowing self.
Sage
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