Navigating Change

Feeling restless in the moment. Noticing the change going on around me. Thinking of my friend Gary who has left on a life change adventure. Missing him being where he used to be even though I never did get to visit and see him there.

Then there is my friend Gilles who will be here on holiday soon. It will be a treat to see him again.

We have made changes in our kitchen, as we make way for a 'new to us' fridge and stove. Gone are our old Harvest Gold stove and fridge. Even changing colors of walls - painting - changing my mind about liking the color, oh grrr. Then changing back to maybe liking the color. Letting it grow on me.

But mostly knowing that I need to make changes. Making the step into taking action.

Love.

FEELING RESTLESS

Hi!! I am sitting here bouncing around from doing one thing and then deciding to do something else. Got this restless feeling. Can't figure it out so came here to just start journalling to see what surfaces.

I thought about just blahing out in front of the TV and taking a day off from all the free stuff I am getting online. Ralph is at woodcarving group today. I was thinking of going with him and playing poker with the poker group. Then John phoned L.D. early this morning so I told Ralph to just go himself and that I would stay home. I had been looking for an excuse to not go. Been doing too much hibernating and isolating. Actually been doing some EFT tapping around that and remembered other times and did some healing tapping on those past issues. MMMhh noticing here that I can't even speak about one of the events so I must need to do some more tapping on that issue.

What a relief. I think I will go and sit with this healing feeling for a bit.

Thanks and many blessings

FOCUSING THE LENS OF MY DESIRE

"Alright: you’re a scriptwriter for your life. Imagine you can write the precise script of your life. Playfully (key word) pick up a pen, grab your journal, and start writing!
Who would you be? What would you do? What would you have? Dream. Play. Create!"

This is from the PhilosophersNotes on the book "Ask and It Is Given"

So, who would I be? What would I do? What would I have - ahhh! that one has answers. I would have money to do all the things we wish to do. Money would flow freely to us. We would have financial abundance with ease. Our lives would be prosperous. We would have easy decisions around finances. We could easily travel and attend workshops and retreats as desired. We would have multiply cruise vactions each year. All our dreams and desires would be fulfilled. We would have the ability to respond to the NOW moments oppurtunities for travel, workshops, retreats. We would have a clean organized home free of clutter. Our lives would be simple and everything would fall into place easily with joy, laughter and peace. I would have paid speaking engagements worldwide and on cruise ships.

So, WHO would I BE? I would be a speaker of stories, sharing my experiences with audiences world wide and on cruise ships. I would be planting seeds and changing lives. Doctors and other medical personnel would seek my assistance and health care systems would be reformed. I would be healthy, energetic, free of dis-ease living a life of laughter, happiness, and joy. I would be training and mentoring others.

All of which answers the "What would I do?" question. I would travel, teach workshops, be a guest speaker, encouraging and inspiring others. I would have others on staff to do the computer set up work needed to run a well oiled machine. I would have people on my team to run the day to day systems.

I would live a life of fulfilling empowering, inspiring learning and fulfill my spiritual purpose as I lead others to fulfill their purpose.

With grace and gratitude for all that I have. Amen.

PhilosophersNotes: Ask And It Is Given journalling

I am listening to and reading the Philosophers Notes on the book Ask And It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

Instructions are to stop the audio tape / stop reading and journal. Asking the question -

THINGS I WANT
- A clean home
- healthy tasty foods to eat
- healing healthy relationships with relatives
- healing happy healthy honest understanding trusting relationship with my husband
- financial abundance flowing our way
- clearer healthy healing joyful clarity of my intuition
- ability to know what it is I want / connect with my spiritual purpose
- easily tuning into intuition and knowing what to do with it
- to be in the right place at the right time / being in the NOW moment
- to travel to Australia and New Zealand
- to maximize use of the 25 year pass, easily seeing everything we want and more
- more cruises
- cruise with family and friends
- share and teach others
- accept money for my energy work sessions
- a healthy physical body free of pain and suffering
- to release my fears
- to heal physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and more
- to heal into health
All this and more.

QUESTIONS TO ANSWER

Hi all
I am sitting here watching video clips at YouTube on EFT. Cathryn Taylor to be specific. This is the 1st I have seen her and she leaves me wanting more.

On the clip I just watched, she said to stop the video and to go blog, then come back to do the EFT tapping.

The questions we are to answer are:

1. - Define what Mastery means to You. (What do I want out of life)
2. - What is your area of concern
3. - What you are working towards
4. - Area of ambivalance (whats keeps you from getting it)

1. I think I resist stating what I want out of life, because I just might get it. And what if it was the wrong choice! what if I make a mistake!

It is easier for me to come up with what I DON'T want.

I am just going to keep blogging here, so that answers can emerge.

I want to be happy. so what would make me happy? helping people, travelling, teaching, sharing, being financially fluent so I can do all that I want to. I want to take and give workshops. To share what I learn and experience. To be fearless - not let fear make my decisions for me. I don't want finances to make decisions for me. I want to live a healthy long life connected to a wonderful husband and family and friends. I want to be clearly understood. Having honest and clear conversational relationships with others. I want to be out in the lime light, confidently shining my truth, touching others... Healing myself and others. It is important to magically be in the right place at the right moment. Following my Universal path being in the NOW moment. Doing what brings me joy - learning, teaching, travelling, helping guide others on their journeys. Laughing, playing, simple things.

so to boil it down / or in a nut shell -- What do I want? What is my goal??

My mission / goal, is to help other light energy practitioners heal and blossum into their true potential as I walk my own talk and heal into a vibrant, healthy, confident being.

2. Past, present and future Health concerns. Being Ruled by fear that holds me back

3. Making connections. Continually learning. Healing physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

4. Fear / living in the "what if" mentality. Having to do "IT" right, be perfect.

In this moment, noticing that I am judging this. Wondering if I 'got it' Did I miss something? The real something that still needs to be revealed!

Oh well, let's just let go and move on and trust that nothing is writing in cement. Things change. Move on...

So bye for now. Insight and feedback muchly appreciated. Bouncing idea's around works well for me. Very healing.

Take care and have fun. (not even going to re read / edit this to correct mistakes)

BEEN TAPPING

I am beginning to understand that if I expect others to go to YouTube and watch EFT video's then I need to also. So off I went. What a treat, now I am even more excited, and feeling great. Like Brian says on the PhilosophersNotes website TV video clips, if you point someone in a direction, there are 3 fingers pointing back at yourself. So thanks for motivating me and pointing me in that direction all.

Still liiking for clarity and answers. And at the same time, discovering possibilities and links to unchanged memories. And then choosing to tap away the stuck energy and heal in this moment all those past trauma's and drama's

Love and peace

I AM WONDERING

This is so cool. I am sitting here listening to www.philosophersnotes.com The website has TV video clips each running 10 minutes each where the guy, Brian, gives a summary of a book. He has done this with 100 books.

I also am sitting here propped up on the couch with my broken ankle elevated and the lap top on my lap. I have been meaning to get around to journalling / blogging. So here I am.

So, what is the universe saying to me? Why did I break my leg? Why did I land up in hospital for 10 days in January with a blocked intestine problem? It was a wonderful journey of being in the moment. So many miracles, magical moments.

Back to my broken ankle. I fell over as I was just starting off on my bicycle. Was not even out of the parking area. As I was laying there on my right side, expecting to get up and dust myself off, I noticed that it felt like my right foot was still flat on the pavement. OH SHIT!!! My husband heard my screams and found me. Ambulance was called, off to emergency - xrays taken - 2 bones broken - had surgery within a few hours and had screws put in. Wearing an air cast for 10 weeks. No weight bearing for 4 weeks, then start by putting 35 lbs weight for 3-5 days, then add another 35 lbs for 3-5 days and so on. Hopping around on one leg using a walker is limiting. Your arms and hands are busy too. Sure is limiting.

And at the same time it is freeing too! I am spending time listening to audio's and video clips. Learning, getting lots of positive babble input.

I have been using the EFT (Tapping) Very interesting results. I find that I get insights as to the origin of the issue. Like when I was writing a list of past injuries to my legs / knees, I remembered the time in elementary school when I had gotten hurt and was on crutches. I remembered my mom walking me to school. I was struggling, wanting support and help. She was way ahead of me with a group of neighbourhood kids. They were all laughing and having a good time. They were calling her Maddy. I was hurt, angry, sad, frustrated, feeling alone... I did some tapping around that event to heal the stuck energy in my physical being. It works. I now think back on that event and feel love and acceptance. Really knowing that we were all doing what we thought was best in the moment. Doing the best we can, with what we know at the time.

So if you haven't heard of and checked out EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) yet... I like www.YouTube.com and then enter EFT in their search box. Lots of short video clips for people around the world.

So, for now, go and enjoy.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND

I am using you to get 'around to it'. Thank you for being here for me.

Just noticed when I wrote the word 'there' and then decided to change it to 'here' that there* is only one letter that changes the whole meaning, tense, etc. Then when I wrote the *'d "there", noticed that the word itself changes meanings.

Have you checked out the www.philosophersnotes.com website yet? I am sitting here (boy do I like that 'here' word association in this moment) listening to his online 10 min TV video clips. Very helpful and useful info.

So the plan was for me to just journal. take an action step here and get around to it. so as you noticed I got distracted. but instead of beating myself up about that I noticed that I am choosing to just let go and accept wha t is. mistakes and all. I am trying not to look at the screen so i don't edit and make correctionss here (amazing how one small word can make me smile and bring me into this now moment)

anywho - ---haahaa my mind again went blank. guess I am still resisting.

Yesterday as I thought I had not gotten around to even listening to these great TV video clips or done much work - I noticed that - heh - I have taken an action step out of fear. I was hopping around the condo without having my air cast on. One small step, a big one for me.

I really have been living in a "what if" world of fear. found there is a connection back to high school days when I was out at Chestermere Lake (east of Calgary) and a bunch of us were ice skating on the lake. Now I had taken figure skating lessons for years as a kid. Still I was very timid and causious (SP?) My boyfriend was holding my hand and we were skating out to join friends. We were going faster than I was comfortable with when I decided to trust and let go of the fear and enjoy. The next thing I remember was someone trying to get me to drink some whiskey back at the cabin. Apparently I fell and slide across the ice. The parents and kids all scattered when they heard ice cracking sounds when they were all standing around me. Someone came back and they got me into the cabin, they said I was talking - I wasn't aware of anything. The next thing I remember was waking up just as we were driving up to the hospital. I remember getting checked out and my friends were told not to let me fall asleep in case I had a concussion
Once back at there place, all I wanted to do was fall asleep and they kept waking me up / trying to keep me awake. Did I stop trusting myself.. probably even before that. there was the time Girl Guides that the older kids had me on a whip line turning around and I, having the furthest to run couldn't keep up and got SCARED... and hurt. I had been excited about going up from Brownies to GG's. I loved being a Brownie. I ended up quitting G.G.'s. again I let fear fuel the day ( meant to write "rule" untill I noticed that I had an "f" instead and then the rest is history) So many other experiences even before that one that shaped my life into this being perfect, cautious (got it right SP this time I think) perfectionism, procrastination blah blah blah ...

Just did some tapping in this moment... did you miss me? LOL Huge shifts and ah ha's

Apologize to John for me please for not going out to dinner with him my last night there. I have know for a long time that I was scared of going. My flight change gave me an excuse but , then when I was packed - you and I went out anyway. I have felt bad about that ever since. Not forgiving myself for a simple decision I am seeing... mmmh! So many other examples in my life - if only I had moments....

ah, remembering some tapping ah ha's.

One was around doctors and how my current day interaction / or more accurately, my NON interaction - stems from childhood. So many times I got no help. I have heard stories that as a baby I had excema and that my parents tied mitts or socks to my hands so I couldn't scratch myself raw. the creams and ointments the doctors gave didn't do much. then there was the doctor that said that my stomach pain was growing pains. I remember sitting in my dads lap as a teenager with him holding his hand on the spot just to get some relief / feel better for the moment. MMMhhh! now I have the same sort of pain and get Ralph to put his hand on the spot to get some relief. Then there was the time that I chipped a bone in my left ankle (chasing a kite and stepped in a gopher hole) AHHH! another example of letting go and choosing to run across the field and getting hurt - cementing the fear. That was a great memory really. My school chum, Donalee had invited out to Cochrane to stay at her place for a couple weeks during summer holidays. I took the bus from Calgary. When I got there, I found out that she had the measles. (she hadn't said anything in case my parents wouldn't let me come) So I got to play and do things with her younger brother - hence flying the kite. They had a terrific dog that was part wolf. When I twisted my ankle, Donalee rubbed horse linament on it every hour. 3 months later, when I had skipped school one day and needed an excuse - I went to the doctor about my ankle that was still swollen. The xrays showed that the tip of the bone was chipped off. which lead to MY FIRST operation and hospital experience which was also great. I shoulda been a nurse... I was helping all the others in my ward. I love being there... Had some shaky scary moments with walking with the crutches - remember trying to ride an esculator. Was out with a bunch of friends. Not feeling very cared for or supported. After the specialist took my cast off he gave me exercises to do and said I could go back to doing my regular stuff. So the next day I was back at curling. (actually I had been curling a few times with my walking cast on) Next appointment with the specialist he said I could resume my activities - I was confused and told him I had already been curling since the last appointment. He got mad at me and said I would have arthitis and problems with my ankle when I got older. So much for doctors... wonder if all these doctor experiences factored into my decision not to go into nursing.

Along with the Josephine the plumber commercials when I was a teenager. My dad was a plumber and my brother was clearly not wanting to be a plumber. I sensed that my dad was disappointed and so I decided I would be a plumber. At school, we got an assignment to write about a profession that we wanted to go into. I choose plumbing, but the teacher refused to let me write my paper on plumbing and made me write on nursing instead. So much for my plumbing career.

And then there was the NOt wanting to go to college/university. To much politics, BS, PR phoniness. I did take a summer semester at Langara College when I moved to Vanc. At lunch, one of the guys that had a test in the morning, gave a couple of us the answers. I got a great mark when we took the class test that afternoon. The teacher singled us out and we became her pets - suggesting that we read additional books etc. Of course I had to study harder to try to keep up my initial image.

Well, that's enough for now. Thanks for listening. Comments welcome,

It sure didn't turn out how I expected it would.