THE JIGSAW PUZZLE

STORY SHARING
The Jig Saw Puzzle
(A Reflection of Life Choices)
July 21/06
By Lynn Keeling
 Fitting the pieces together.  Some seemed to fit, for awhile that is.  Then gaps with nothing left to fill them.  Time to re juggle, shift, rearrange.  Take out what used to fit, making room for something new.  Change, changing, willing to grow, to flow with the current (the stream).  Noticing what is in my way, willing to make new paths.  Finding new ways around what blocks me in the now moment.  Willing to let go of past successes.  Want to move on, to change, to grow – expanding my horizons.  To explore the valleys as well as the tops of the highest mountains.  To love.  To really truly love myself.
 I move a few pieces of the jig saw puzzle around and they fit better in the empty spaces. Pieces that didn’t fit before, now slip easily into place, in place.  Everything is making sense.  Easy.  Encouraging.  Shifting slightly, bringing a newer perspective.  A joy.  The picture is being ‘peaced’ together, piece by piece, one at a time.  Slowly, lovingly, peacefully, with patience.  Slow going for awhile.  Nothing fitting.  Frustration mounting.
 Time to step back, take a break.  Go for a walk.  Leave the problem.  Go away. Leave it alone. Step aside.  Get out of my head.  Coffee break.  Lunch break.  Sleep on it.
 Come back to the puzzle refreshed and renewed.  New ideas, new eyes.  Fresh.  Ready to re engage.  To create.  To explore and discover.  What is it that doesn’t fit anymore?  Willing to re shuffle, to ruffle things up a bit.  Stir the pot and see what comes up.
 Funny how the same piece fits in 2 or 3 different places.  Where does it belong?  How will I know when I have got it right?  When will I know?
 The picture is coming together.  Nearing the end.  Fitting together as it should, so it seems.  Down to 8 empty spots now and 7 puzzle pieces.  Obvious that one piece is missing, lost – still to be found.  Mmmh!  None of the last seven pieces fit any which way no matter how hard I try to jam them in.  Could it be, is it possible – are there pieces in the wrong place?  Pieces that were comfortable where they were at the time, fitting well with the other pieces that fit in around them at the time.  And now we could just stay as we are – ignoring the change.  Not wanting to rock the boat or make waves or stir up the waters.  Not wanting to explore the unexplored depths of ourselves.  Willing to stay as we are.  Knowing there are extra pieces that don’t fit – holes yearning to be filled.  Our soul calling for completion.  Ripe and ready to move on – move forward.  Get on with business.  Break out of our shell.  Expand, break out of the box that binds us.  Create what we are here to create.  To hear, to see, to do, to be.  To find our way.  To experiment, try things on for size.  Remembering it may fit for awhile until we out grow it.
 It is the becoming attached to the ‘its’ of life.  A lesson in knowing when to let go.  And learning how to let go – detach.  Includes the grieving process, being patient with myself.  Being willing to change.  And sometimes being willing to be willing to change.  Recognizing, being aware.  Giving myself space and time to adjust to the readjusting.  Finding, asking for and accepting supportive help from others, workshops, retreats, books, tapes, jigsaw puzzles - open to seeing, hearing, noticing the guidance that comes my way – coincidences, nature, insights, ah ha’s.  Again willing to notice, it is time to step back, take a break, re group, re arrange, readjust, sleep on it.
 And when the time is right (Gods timing, not mine) the answer appears.  Move this piece to here and that piece shifts over to this place.  This piece fits in this space and one of the extra pieces fits comfortably into place in the new vacancy.
 So the pieces all fit.  Juggled around.  One piece left and it doesn’t belong.
 The surrounding pieces all seem to meld together.  Jelling well.  In the right place / space.  Something still out of place.  What is it?  How will I find it?  When will I know?
 Why is this so hard?  Why can’t I clearly see it?  Why am I making this so difficult?  Why do I care?  Why can’t I just leave well enough alone?  Who cares anyway?  Why not just leave well enough alone?  And the years go by seemingly in place.  And then along comes another reminder.  A shift – a workshop, retreat, book, tape, TV show, movie, a comment, - whatever the catalyst is.  And we have to decide.  And we choose to take another look.  To rediscover ourselves.  To reinvent, refresh, update, move on, upgrade, grow, grow up, (why do I resist writing grow up?)  Puzzled, I open my eyes.  Look closer.  Refreshed and renewed.  Willing to see, to explore and discover.  To create and recreate myself.  To expand, break out of my box, my shell, my cage.  Face my fears.  Fears of the unknown, the unexplored.
 Pieces in place have worked so well together.  It is a cozy known feeling of comfort.  It is comfortable.  Why upset the apple cart?  Why rock the cradle of life?  Leave things alone.  Don’t tamper with things.  Don’t fix what’s not broken you say!
 So here I am on the fence post.  Wobbling.  I could choose either way.  Same old, same old or something new, bigger, better.  Something more in tune with the full bigger picture – closer to completion.  More on purpose, on life’s path.  Besides, I can always change my mind.  That’s the great thing about choices.  I can try something on for size and if it works, great – if it doesn’t, I can make another choice / change my mind.  And if it fits for awhile great.  There may come a time where I outgrow it, noticing the other pieces aren’t fitting with ‘it’.  Time to readjust, shift, make choice, change, reshuffle, re gain, re grow, back up, regroup, shuffling up, refitting.
 So I decide to look again at the puzzle of life with open eyes, fresh eyes.  Childlike new eyes wide open, willing to explore and discover.  And there it is, plain as day.  A piece out of place.
 So I wiggle it out of its comfy space and try it in the empty hole.  It plops right in with ease.  Like it was meant to be.  No resistance.  Like it belonged.  And now for the extra piece – does it fit in the new empty place.  Plop.  Success.  As neat as can be.  All the surrounding pieces cheer with delight.  Feeling at home, aligned, fitting in with each other.  Re united at last.  The picture nearly complete.  One piece still missing.  Lost, still needing to be found.

WHATS ON YOUR MIRROR

Lots of memories.  A dear one from the BCCA relaxation group used to shower us with stickers.  She still lives on through the memories I have when I look in the mirror that is still sprinkled with her stickers.

I am drawn to ' owls ' and through the years have acquired a few trinkets, including a plastic suction cup toothbrush holder that makes its home on the mirror.


A loved one in my arms photo.

Various printed universal gifts of truth in our lives...

And now yesterday's gems from the Unity Candle Lighting service...

But best of all is the reflection of me reflecting back the beauty of Gods love.

Sage

P.S. Pictures to be added.

A PIECE OF ME

A PIECE OF ME

What can I do!  Such hurt and turmoil!  Devastating news from loved ones that their son had died in a hiking accident...  My world was spinning.  I could only imagine what the family was feeling. The memorial was the coming weekend.

My cherished friendship bracelet that I had made and loved - I could slip it into the casket and leave a piece of me with him.

The evening of the visitation I had left the bracelet back at the hotel.  Oh well, I trusted that it was not meant to be.  To this day, as I wear this bracelet I feel connected to all of you, family and friends.  It has been a part of my healing.  Many blessings.

P.S.  On December 20, I will be wearing my bracelet and connecting in love and peace.

DECISIONS SHIFT

Sometimes it is about being real and honest with myself about how I am feeling. Sometimes it is about finding a way to make a shift. Sometimes it is about acceptance of what is. Sometimes it is about exploring and experimenting.  Sometimes it is about finding a distraction.  Sometimes it is about deciding to make a change.  Sometimes it is about noticing an organic shift before waking up to noticing, accepting, deciding, exploring, distracting or being real and honest.

In no particular order, like the time:

  - putting the brakes on a mental downward spiral by deciding to transform myself into a living birthday card for R by getting people to sign my back.

  - clicking on a TV or radio program or hearing a song that shifts my mood

  - on the drive back to the women's shelter, each song on the radio had me crying cleansing tears. Decided to listen to one more song at my destination and it had nothing to do with anything.  The magical journey was over.

  - process of finding the woman's shelter had me calling back in an hour.  Ended up sitting on the White Rock beach watching a beautiful dog run back and forth, back and forth, and into the waves, then back and forth up and down the beach no obvious owner in sight. Eventually the dogs 'owner?' arrived.  He told me that his wife and him had moved and had given the dog to their son and his family.  Numerous times the dog ran away and showed up at his new home.  They gave up and the dog now lived with them.

  - at the woman's shelter, the case worker showing me around had to take a phone call.  I checked out a couple of pages taped to the wall she had pointed out on codependent unhealthy and interdependent healthy relationships.  What I was leaving, what I wanted.  It was a moment of surrendering and I stayed there for a month.

  - one night a new lady arrived at the women's shelter. She didn't know the rules and phoned her husband and started screaming at him.  This propelled me to check the resource paperwork and phone a relationship workshop called Gemini.  Turned out that it started the next day and was about polishing the "Gem In I".  I also began going to 'codependency' 12 step meetings.
During this supportive safe haven time of personal growth, the universe tested me - a decision moment when it seemed easier to just go back to A.
And there was the dreaded phone call to tell my mom that shocked my world...  She caught me at work and when I hung up, I asked my co-workers " who was that lady?  I've never met her before."  It was like she had been doing her own personal growth work.

  - I moved back from Toronto where I was taking courses from a group called PSI (People Searching Inside)  Turned out friends here had been on a similar parallel journey.

  - discovering and revisiting " ho'oponopono "  Many times I find tools that work for me and then drift away and forget about them, then the universe brings me back to them.  Like ho'oponopono...  Sequence unfolding >>> Coast to Coast A.M. program talking about near death experience with man saying the 'life review' for him wasn't his, but was all about everyone he had hurt.  He felt ALL the pain he had ever caused others all at once, whether intentional or not.  Awhile back, I had the thought, wondering if it would work to do a life review before death.  Another step in forgiveness work.  It has been an amazing journey of noticing buried memories floating into consciousness and choosing to release them.  >>> side tracked at YouTube one day when universe reminded me of 'Ho'oponopono'.
Even as I write this, more memories surface.  Paused here to release and let go even though I had already forgotten the memories that had surfaced.  Then chose to finish listening to YouTube video of Abraham Hicks "Is Your Path Unclear" that universe presented to me while I thought I was researching for Craig Hamilton meditation (which led me to watch Craig Hamilton-Parker, a psychic). Feeling blessed. Still haven't listened to a C.H meditation.  I'll go do that now...

God wink / designer moment / speed bump

  - meeting someone that propels me into researching YouTube or TED talk or wherever the magic of the Internet takes me, one thing leading to another.

  - sharing with others helps me.

  - praying miracles like my name tag lanyard being looped around the scarf knotted around my neck.

  - being in the right place at the right time...   missed a bus, which had me walking down the street at my destination, as Emiko was walking towards me.  I was meeting R at Legends, so
E joined me and we all had a wonderful visit.

  - another time at Legends, we saw R's son Ted who was there with a group of friends > some R hadn't seen since they were kids.

  - stretching time when late gets us there on time.

  - stretching time going to mask making weekly class.  We left late and missed the bus. Got there early before anyone else. Made a half hour trip in seemingly 10 minutes.

  - leaving A. in Kelso. Car at bus station when I got to Langley.  No A. in sight so I jumped in car and went to house to grab my belongings and left.  Apparently he had gone across the street to the bakery.

  - meeting R at Unity and universe giving me a choice - another motorcycle guy I met. Healthy interdependent vs unhealthy codependent relationship.

  - asking the parking angels to find us easy parking spaces.

  - one day I had to drive around the block 3 times before I found a place to park.  My reaction was, "wonder what that was about?"  When I went into the medical building, there getting off the elevator was the doctor I wanted to run into to give him paperwork he wanted.  Ahh Haa!!  I was too early was I !!!

  - relaxation group experience working with a lady in distress and just as work was winding down another lady rushes in apologizing for being 20 minutes late.  She had  'somehow' driven right past the building. To us, her timing was perfect.  The healing session would have been different if she had been there.

  - the bright colourful dress that fell off the hanger for me. I loved it and wore it for years.

  - writing stories helps me

  - yesterday YouTube led me to a Jean Houston webinar that I listen to today.  Most of what is written above came to mind as Jean was talking about the "3 Keys to Unlocking Your Quantum Powers".  My memories came to light.

  - reframing 666 >>> A. made me go back to the mechanic to change an engine repair because the part had 666 in the number. Today I love 666 and each time it shows up on computer games I celebrate my own personal growth forgiveness work and it shows up a higher % of times than random chance.

NOTHING IS WRITTEN IN STONE

Remembering my own journey dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis in 2004 and what I learned.  I was referred to a surgeon who wanted to operate first.  He referred me to the B.C. Cancer Agency when I asked about getting a second opinion. They wanted to start with chemotherapy treatments first, then radiation and then surgery.

During a phone call, I was explaining the game plan to my friend Mary. I vividly remember her life changing words - well not her exact words, but what I got out of her one or two sweet sentences to me that day.

   - she reminded me that that was all in the future, not in the present.  She brought me back to the moment.  Reminding me that those were all decisions to be made in the coming weeks 

and months, not in that moment.  Reminding me not to create a path carved in stone but to remain open to other choices.  Reminding me not to be making it an affirmation. To wait and make each decision when it was time to do so.  I immediately decided to reframe my story, focusing on results I really wanted.  

Final version of that chapter of my story involved doing Traditional Chinese Medicine treatments while having chemotherapy treatments.  Deciding not to do radiation and no surgery.  That's the journey that felt right in the moment.

Smiling here.  One 'side effect' of that journey involves an ongoing saga with Mary.  She chose to loan me $500.00 dollars to help with the costs of the TCM treatments.   Repayment plan is $20 on my birthday every year.  She stashes the money away each year and says we are both going to spend it when the loan is repaid.  Some years, my efforts to give her $25 have failed.  It's one of her favorite stories to tell others.  She claims it keeps us both going. 

TRAVEL DIARY

Left Richmond Thursday June 25, 2015. Overnight at Salmon Arm at a beautiful Walmart parking lot.

Friday, June 26 & Saturday, June 27

Radio in the morning said temperature was going to be 40C. We decided to drive east as far as we could and spent 2 nights recuperating in a campground at Balzac, AB, just north of moms place in Calgary.  Went to Cross Iron Mill mega mall ( Bass Pro ) and Century Casino across Hwy 2 from Whispering Spruce campground.  Small gas station with cafe had great food - bread pudding, pies.  

Sunday, June 28

Visited mom in morning.  Showed her pictures of mall and told her about casino.  Went to Cochrane (west of Calgary) for Laura's sons grad BBQ. Saw people I haven't seen in 25 years.  Laura (my god daughter) parents, Fred and Joan, Fred's brother Bill and Shirley, son Freddy and family to name a few.  Back at moms, slept on street behind Whitehorn residence.

Monday, June 29

Fred and Joan visited us at moms. 

Took mom to Cross Iron Mill mall after.  Both her and Ralph got scooters from guest services. What a hoot watching them, especially in the elevator at the Bass Pro store.  Van wouldn't start again - 3 times now having to jump start it.  Overnight at same place again. 

Tuesday, June 30

Phoned and booked at Mountain View RV park just east of Calgary. Stopped there on the way to Strathmore with mom for auntie Irene's 92nd birthday party. Her new nursing home room is beautiful.  Met people I haven't seen for over 50 years.  From there we went with mom to the casino for dinner.  Dropped her off home and decided we all needed a day off Wednesday.  We overnight at Mt View RV park.

Wednesday, July 1st. Canada Day

Campground had $8.00 BBQ hamburger with beans, salad and drink at 5p.m.  Music entertainment.  Met couple from England that just arrived and were doing a month RV trip - Jasper, Whistler, flying home from Vancouver.  Spent 2nd night at RV park.  Needed to recupe, nice to have a day off.  Gives mom a chance to organize herself and rest.

Thursday, July 2

Spent dad with mom.  Met with TD Canada Trust rep for GICs due in July.  Slept overnight on street again.

Friday, July 3

Took mom to eye appointment in NW Calgary.  Discovered that they were affiliated with an FYeye store near moms in NE.  So we went to Peters Drive-in for lunch and then to NE store to get new glasses. Frames were 50% off and Blue Cross covered some of the cost.  Dropped mom off and we drove to a campground in Wetaskiwin, AB. 

Saturday, July 4

Arrived at Todd and Jeans In Leduc, AB.  Great visit and awesome dinner.  Had lots of fun with Nathan and Ryan.  Watched movie Django. Slept in van on street.

Sunday, July 5

Sightseeing in Edmonton. Dinner at Spagetti Factory.  Slept on street again.

Monday, July 6

Saw Leduc Rec Ctr. Ended up in Edmonton again. Back at their place for yummy dinner. Early night on street again. 

Tuesday, July 7 and Wednesday, July 8

Went to Alberta Reynolds museum in Wetaskiwin. Then Smittys for late lunch.  Said goodbyes toTodd, Jean and the kids.  They headed home and we headed south to Gull Lake.  Stayed 2 nights to rest up.  Great concession booth and yummy ice cream cones. 

Thursday, July 9

Stopped in at moms. Took 3 quilts to coin laundry at McNight Square. Mailed pics to Chuck Duncan. Back at moms, few final chores.  Left about 7 pm to drive a couple hours south.

   Planned to overnight at Claresholm, AB. Just as we were exiting off hwy 2, the van started chugging and stopped.  Eventually got it into residential area in town where we slept.  Young guy named Adam living in house we were parked by turned out to be a mechanic for a tractor place. Told us best place to take it to in the morning was Kaz's service.  Said we could use his cell phone in the morning to call BCAA for a tow.  

Friday, July 10

Skyline Towing driver, John, called Kaz's - no chance to work on it until Monday.  Got us into campground for weekend. Drove us a few blocks to downtown to give us the lay of the land.  Had breakfast at Roy's Place.  Went to tourist information and museum / exhibit hall.  Checked out a number of stores on the walk back to the Claresholm Centennial Park campground. 

Saturday, July 11

Walked to Douros restaurant - yummy, yum. Shopped more.  Bargain store, dollar store, thrift store and more

Sunday, July 12

Back to Roy's Place and more yummy food just in time as they close at 3 pm Sunday's. Packed up so we were ready to be towed. 

Monday, July 13 (13 is our favorite date - we got married on a Friday the 13th)

Confusion with tow. Phoned Kaz's (on Skype) and decided to drive it there.  Got there, no problem. Took a couple hours for them to get to it.  We sat in van reading and sleeping. Mechanic, Derrick, said he wanted to take it for a drive before lunch - Ralph went with him. We walked across field and hwy to a Dairy Queen.  The heavens opened up and it poured and hailed while we were at DQ.  Couple hours later when we headed back to Kaz's the ditches we had walked across were flowing streams of water so we had to detour down to the corner  intersection to walk back. Turned out Derricks son works with Adam. Mechanic did what he could and suggested we stop at Larrys radiator shop in Lethbridge.  Van drove beautifully to Lethbridge where we overnighted at a Holiday Trails RV park with pool.

Tuesday, July 14

Rick at radiator place, checked out van and said we should be okay driving it.  Didn't see the need to take time and $$$ to pull rad out. He suggested we take the grill screen off. So we headed off and got to Kalispell, MT where we stayed at a lovely RV park on a river. 

Wednesday, July 15

The drive west through MT just gets better and better.  Stopped at Libby, MT at the most magnificent museum we have ever seen. Then at Henry's Choice restaurant for lunch- super Yum Yum!!!  Then another thrift store stop. Just drove around Sandpoint, ID, down by the waterfront.  Holy cow things have changed since we were last here. Stopped for an ice cream cone - triple Holy Cow!!!  We should have taken a picture of it. Picture this, a mountain of ice cream piled 11 inches high on a regular normal cone, then a large styrofoam cup put over the ice cream and the whole thing flipped upside down, putting the cup on the counter to serve it to you.  I had a Huckleberry Lemonade. Heading west again, an hour to go to get to the Little Diamond Thousand Trails. Had a swim in the pool. Checked out the Family Lodge and the lake.  Toured around area as we were driving in.

Thursday, July 16

Decided to leave early and head for Crescent Bar Leisure Time TT.  beautiful drive along I-90.  Noticed lots of beautiful rest stops.  At Quincy we found a 'house' thrift store and ate at grocery store deli. Followed Gps to Crescent Bar TT on Columbia River. I walked around and explored. Lots of shops and restaurants and another campground and golf course with restaurants. Talked to lady that showed me a before picture of area before the dam was built. Boat, skidoo, golf cart rentals. Condo rentals. Weather in 90's everyday. 

Friday, July 17

Went to Tower Pizza for lunch. Spent lots of time in Wifi Centre building with 2 TV's and air conditioning. 

Saturday! July 18

Resort had free hotdogs and lemonade at 1:00. Spent lots of time in air conditioned building. Lots of Skip-Bo playing and on mini's.  Resorts new manager started this week. Fireworks in town. 

Sunday, July 19

Went for a swim in the pool. Cool and refreshing. (no change room - have to go down to the washrooms by spa -spa was closed for repair).  Then we went to golf club for lunch. Another yummy beef dip.  And then an ice cream. 

Monday, July 20

Said goodbye to the cooing pigeons at Crescent Bar TT and headed for Wenatchee. Road follows the Columbia River along the north side past a dam. Lots of museums and state parks and rest areas ( ie Pinnacle state park). Thrift electronic store in Sultan was closed ( sun & Mon).  Stopped at Quil Ceda casino in Marysville for a bit. Carried on and ate at Royal Star Buffet. Reminiscing about meeting brothers Dave and Lorrie and John and Roberta in Sedro Wooley for a camping trip. Now here we are at Grandy Creek TT resort near Concrete, WA. 

Tuesday, July 21 Ryan's birthday.

Trudy sent out a Ryan alert.  We made a FaceTime call.  Pool still closed today. 

Wednesday, July 22

We drove into Concrete to eat and explore. Part of the high school is built over the road like an overpass. Found an antique small plane museum / airport and walked around. Ate at B5 bakery Cafe.  Back at campsite wifi center- phoned and talked to uncle David.  He said he had been to Bellingham and Sedro Wooley that day. 

Thursday, July 23

Started day doing 3 loads of laundry. Pool open this morning, just perfect timing for my game plan. Having a wonderful time in pool and hot tub spa. Then along came a staff lady to tell us all to go and pack up - there is a fire 1/4 mile away. We might need to be evacuated. Now Ralph and I had been talking about leaving a day early. And turns out that both of us had been thinking we were ready to move on. Fire was contained and no evacuation- but seeing as were all packed up and ready to drive, we did just that (left 2 days early). Headed for Nooksack Northwood casino. Ended up stopping for Thursday $4.99 buffet at Nooksack River casino. Then motored on to Nooksack Northwood near Lynden where we slept overnight. They have RV spots with electric hook-up.  

Friday, July 24

Drove to Silver Reef casino for seafood buffet. Won some and had fun. Had beautiful tomtom drive through Ferndale to get there. Another great GPS drive to Birch Bay TT Resort through the side highways past more corn fields. Success, wahoo - Ralph has fixed the TV antenna and we are getting 10 channels.  Went to adult lodge at 7 pm to check out "chili cook off". Ate 3 kinds (2 entries and 1 store bought TT Staff supplied). Then someone suggested mixing all 3, so we did. LOL. Met Katlyn Hearst, from Global TV - there with her US boyfriend and his parents. 

Saturday, July 25

Left Birch Bay TT. Drove along shore to Semiamhoo resort and looked around. Continued on to Blaine. Stopped at a couple garage sales and a farmers market. Ate at Pizza Factory on Main Street - homemade noodles in the chicken noodle soup. Tasty pizza. Sitting at truck border crossing. Home doing a Big Brother marathon catchup of recordings. 

Sunday, July 26

Went to Unity, then Risty's restaurant. Home for more Big Brother and Americas Got Talent and The Closer. 

Monday, July 27

Headed to Mt Vernon TT after lunch at IHOP. Paid assessment by check at Dorset realty. 

Tuesday - Thursday, July 28 - 30 

Swimming, casino, playing SkipBo in Mt Vernon TT. 

Thursday, July 30

Move down to Friday Creek site after shopping and eating at casino. Peaceful, quiet, beautiful. Lots of units here already for the annual Quilceda wood carving campout. 

Friday, July 31 (blue moon tonight)

A.M. and p.m. classes. Potluck dinner was great. Had 1/2 the raffle drawings. Ralph won 2.

Saturday, August 1

Yummy $4 breakfast. Tonight is $4 dinner and the rest of the raffle drawing and entertainment. Morning and afternoon classes today. 

THE WEBS WE WEAVE

Most of the profound moments on my journey have been small and subtle.  Changes that made my life different have usually been learned again and again, as the Universe has a way of teaching lessons again when I forget.  As I reflect on the lessons learned, the one about ‘confidentiality’ and the expanded definition of what that now means to me is on the top of my list.

The expanded meaning of confidentiality has been learned in stages over many years.  If I had known what I know now, life would have been less complicated.

In the beginning, I was good at keeping a secret.  Was this the beginning of learning about ‘confidentiality’?  It felt good that others trusted me.  And it felt horrible when I made a mistake and let the ‘secret’ slip out.  And of course, the Universe also gave me opportunities to experience how it felt to be wronged.

Fast forward to present day at Unity of Vancouver and the Prayer Chaplain ongoing training program.  This is where I am taught the expanded meaning of ‘confidentiality’.

I initially felt so guilty.  All the years of bursting someone’s balloon by running off and telling everyone their good news, robbing that person of the joy of telling others of their upcoming holiday plan or some other exciting news.  I now see that ‘IT’ was none of my business.  Amazingly life is so much simpler now.  No more trying to figure out who I have told and who I could tell.  And what a time saver and I am no longer spreading misinformation.  No more creating situations that later require forgiveness work.

There is also the angle of being kinder by not bringing up a subject from past conversations which might not be on the persons mind in this NOW moment.  When asking, “Hi, How are you?”are people wanting the standard greeting exchange of “Fine, thanks! And you?” or are they wanting the longer answer regarding the issue we had previously talked about?  Then having to figure out what I (or someone else) had told them…  What part of the story needs updating?  And why do I have to go down that road at that moment, when I had totally forgotten about it and was busy shopping.

It is a simple change – by saying “it is nice to see you” instead of “how are you?” as suggested by our Prayer Chaplain training.

Life would be so much simpler if everyone understood the expanded version of what confidentiality includes.  We wouldn’t get as tangled in the Webs We Weave if we just minded our own business.

Asking myself, “Who’s egg is it that I am putting in my basket?” helps me when I still find myself tempted to spread (mis)information.  Sometimes I am caught in someone else’s Web and choose not to get tangled up by simply stating “I don’t know” and shifting the subject.

This understanding has made the duties of being a Prayer Chaplain a pure pleasure.  My memory banks can be deleted like the current day computer technology as there is no need to remember prayer requests.  I truly am able to release the prayers to the Universe as we are taught in our training.

I am truly grateful, another step in our prayer process training, for this useful tool of ‘confidentiality’ that has expanded into my daily life.

Sage

January 13/15