Brace Yourself

BRACE YOURSELF
Childhood stories have long reaching arms that link and shape our present day decisions. These ‘now’ moments link to past moments and to the anticipation of future moments.
When I was 11, my parents made decisions for me. This time they were told, by the trusted family dentist, that I needed braces. I remember that my parents had been concerned that my younger brother, Gerry, would need braces. No worries about me. I had no warning. I was there for the regular dentist visit. All of a sudden the dentist was saying that my brother would probably get his teeth knock out playing sports so not to bother with braces for him. But that I should go to an orthodontist because as the x-rays showed, I needed braces.
So began my 3 year journey of pain, humiliation and embarrassment. Four teeth pulled to make room in my mouth. In the 1960’s, braces were a mouthful of metal linking the teeth together. There was a ‘retainer’, a contraption worn outside the mouth that hooked onto the braces and put more tension on the teeth to get them moving faster. Luckily I didn’t have to wear the retainer in public, only every night while I slept.
The ridicule at school was relentless. There was also a boy with braces. He was popular, part of the “in” crowd. I was in the “out” crowd. The other kids were always trying to get us to kiss, laughing that our braces would get locked together. I started smiling without showing my teeth. My life, as well as my teeth, was reshaped.
The final product of decent looking straight teeth promised to better my life. More issues arose in my adult life. At a dental check-up years later, I was asked if I had had braces. The evidence on the x-rays showing short roots told the story. Apparently it was found that back when I had braces the teeth were moved too fast which caused this damage. Things are done differently these days. Or the time I went to the old family dentist for a check-up when I was back home for a holiday. He told me to come back for another appointment to get 2 cavities filled. I never did. Money was part of my decision making. Years later at an appointment with a new dentist, there was no mention of any cavities. Who was right, the old trusted family dentist who once made me stand in the coat closet because he didn’t believe he was hurting me and that I had no reason to be crying or this stranger! In later years I had found out that yes, some people have more sensitive teeth. And again a few years after that, at yet a third dentist, there was no mention of any cavities. This time I spoke up and told that dentist that I had been told that I had 2 cavities. He checked again and found nothing. So now should I be angry with the trusted family doctor or all of us for trusting him. Or had my body somehow fixed the cavities that the old family dentist had found!


Then there was the specialist that took cancer patients. I had been told about her by another patient who also told me that it was important for Cancer patients to get regular dental check-ups, something that I had never heard before. This dentist was as wonderful as Valerie had said she was. For the 1st time I looked forward to my annual dentist appointments. Then one year this dentist said I needed to get the back tooth pulled. She found it too difficult to clean it. It would be more convenient for her if it was removed.
Money still being a big part of my decision making process, I decided not to get the tooth pulled. The following year, the dentist was clearly irritated that I had not followed her instructions and that the tooth was still there. She informed me that she was no longer taking regular patients and that I would have to find another dentist as this would be the last visit with her. All the fears of being abandoned came flooding back. It took a few years and a filling to fall out to get me to a dentist again. And then not regularly, mostly for some emergency like my Thursday appointment after the ‘Memoirs Writing’ class where I got the idea for this homework assignment, even though I like the new dentist I had found.
As I reflected on my decisions, I wondered whom do I believe – the orthodontist of my youth that would have removed that tooth if it should have been or the present day dentist who wanted to make things more convenient for her. The choice was clear. Again money played a part in this decision after all it had cost my parents over $2000 for my braces.
In my 40’s and 50’s I began healing unresolved issues by looking at my parent’s perspective, understanding that they made sacrifices to pay for my braces. Understanding the broader picture has shifted things. I hear something different now when my mom continually asks me if I am taking care of my teeth.
My mouthful of teeth fall short in this day and age of teeth whitening products and porcelain veneers pushing us to believe that we need them to have the perfect smile. The end of this many layered childhood story has yet to be discovered. Will I circum to the voices of advertisements or will money issues again save me from myself!

Lynn Keeling
November 16, 2008