Leaving Home Behind
I’d say I grew up in an average middle class 2 parent family in Calgary, where mom stayed home when she needed to and also worked at times. Living in the same neighborhood growing up and attending one school from grades 1-8 and another for grades 9 - 12, life was very stable. Our stable environment also included all our friends and neighbors. Nothing much changed in our world.
So what do we do after graduation! My friend, Donalee, and I decided we wanted to leave home. We settled on moving to Banff. So off we went, well armed with care packages from home, on our first adventure into the big wide world.
We found a lovely cabin to rent and we both got jobs at the local bakery after promising the owner that we would not up and leave without giving him notice. Had many a breakfast of a jelly donut we’d fill with extra jelly. I bought my first pair of blue jeans. Many hours were spent listening to Gordon Lightfoot, Buffy St. Marie, and Joan Byez records. My parents would come to visit, always bringing more care packages from home. Life here was stable.
In September we started talking about moving on. Our first plan was to stand on each side of the Trans Canada Highway and whoever got a ride would be the way we would go. We settled on hitchhiking to Vancouver. So on September 30, we told our boss that we were leaving at the end of September. We boxed up our belongings and shipped them to Vancouver by Greyhound. Traveling light, we made it to Vancouver in 2 rides. The second ride was with a traveling salesman who took us on his sales route each day through the interior of B.C. Each night he would drop us off in Kamloops at the Y.W.C.A. where we would hand wash our clothes. Five days later we arrived in Vancouver.
We got a room at the West Pender Hotel. There was a wonderful place we were told about where people spent all night listening to music. They feed us peanut butter and jam sandwiches for breakfast. Once there was a band that played Heh Jude where the drummer did a 10 minute solo.
We got to know the hotel clerk and his friend. One day we were sitting in their room drinking scotch and then beer. Boy did I get sick, all over his friends bed. All the while denying that anything was wrong, I never get sick I said.
Donalee answered an ad for a room for rent and moved. In December, traveling by train, we went back home for Christmas. In tow was Andy, a boy I had met and was taking back home for Christmas. There was a guy playing a guitar on the train that made the trip memorable.
Andy was warmly welcomed by my parents. In January he continued on his journey never to be heard from again.
In January Donalee decided to stay put. I still wanted to return to Vancouver. So, off I went. I rented the room in the house that Donalee had lived in. I got a job at a printing company. A few months later I answered an ad on a bulletin board at a laundry mat for room and board. That’s when I met Ruth and her family that included a boyfriend, her two boys, her father and his girlfriend. She worked at the Penthouse Club as a cigarette girl. They lived in a big old house on East Broadway, closer to my job.
I started dating Ray, a guy at work. One night he stood me up and Ruth suggested that I should go to the singles dance as I was all dressed up anyway. After 1 dance, the first guy that had asked me to dance, Edward, reappeared with his drink and sat down. I noticed another guy a couple tables away laughing at us. He motioned to me asking if he should come over to rescue me. That is how I met Walter, my future husband. We were married August 1st, 1970 in Calgary. We moved from Vancouver to Squamish and then to Port Alice on Vancouver Island. A marriage that was supposed to last till death do us part, lasted 2 years.
I now found myself running back home to my parents in Calgary. I got a job at a bank data center and eventually rented a room a few blocks from home, in the house of a co-worker who lived with her parents. After a couple of years I took the train to Toronto to visit with my cousins and old neighborhood friends for the summer. I would spent a few days with my dad’s cousins in Scarborough. Marg cooked and baked from scratch. Left over’s were kept and used in the next day’s meals. Then I would spend a few day’s with Win, Ket and Jimmy in Etobicoke. There any food left over after a meal went into the garbage. That is until I stopped them from throwing out the left over Kraft Dinner one night. I loved eating Kraft Dinner cold the next day, even for breakfast.
I used to babysit Ket and Jimmy when they lived next door to us in Calgary. Now Ket and I became great friends. We took a train trip once to Quebec City for the Winter Carnival and the bunch of us stayed at the Hotel Frontenac. But I get ahead of myself.
Summer over I went back to Calgary, to pack up and move to Vancouver. I got a temporary, till I found something else, job with the Vancouver office of the Market Research company that ‘Auntie’ Marg worked for in Toronto. This was the beginning of a long career.
A couple of years later, I ended up driving east in January with Marilee, who was moving to Toronto to go to University. That journey is a whole other story in itself. Maybe that’s the one I should be telling.
My life in Toronto, a whole other story in itself. Marilee and I rented a suite on the top floor of a house. I went to visit my ‘Aunt’ at her job and started working there that day. A few years later I met Alan and moved to Quesnel, B.C. but first moving back home with my parents in Calgary.
So I ask, do we ever really leave home behind!
December 1, 2008 Memoir Writing Homework > Young Adult Story 1
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
THE RIDE TO TORONTO
The Ride To Toronto
It was 1975 and I was living in Vancouver. I had met Marilee at work. We had done a couple of Market Research surveys together when one day she told me that she was looking for a couple of people to share costs and help drive her jeep to Toronto where she was going to go to University. I volunteered. A friend showed us everything there was to know about cars. He had us change a tire and check the oil etc.
We packed her jeep to the roof. There was just enough room for someone to stretch out diagonally across the top of everything to get some sleep. A man answered her ad and became the third driver. He was meeting us in Calgary at my parents, after he went to Edmonton. The plan was to take shifts driving with one of us getting some sleep.
January 1st, Marilee and I headed to Calgary. Our friend had not taught us anything about fuses blowing, which happened to us while driving late at night near Cache Creek leaving us with no head lights. We flagged a car down and learned about fuses from that kind gentleman. He switched fuses around so we had head lights.
Randy hadn’t taught us about thermostats either. Turns out the jeep had a summer thermostat installed in it, which was why we couldn’t get any heat from the heater. The dealer at Cache Creek didn’t have one in stock so we bundled up in sweaters and coats, gloves and scarves pressing on, planning to get one when we got to Calgary. We stopped in Banff at the Hot Springs pool to get warmed up. Coming down the hill from the pool we were sliding around on the snowy icy road and went into the ditch. Putting it into 4 wheel drive got us out. Driving into Calgary we were stopped at a police check and asked for a driver’s license, which we said was in our purse back there somewhere. We explained we were close to my parents place, our destination and explained about the thermostat problem explaining why we were scraping ice off the inside of the windshield and dressed in all our clothes. The guy waved us on.
When we were telling my parents about the thermostat, my dad asked why we hadn’t just put some cardboard in front of the radiator. A fix that I hadn’t remembered and Randy hadn’t taught us.
Joe, arrived a couple days later from Edmonton. Winter thermostat installed, we were ready to head east. We also had some cardboard in front of the radiator and had to stop at Chestermere Lake, just east of Calgary, to let things cool down because the radiator boiled over.
Somewhere along the way we dipped down into the U.S.A. After a few days we noticed Joe was not sleeping. He told us that he can’t sleep in a moving car. I remember one time late at night when he was driving through a small town, he stopped in the middle of an intersection when the light was green and then continued on when the light turned red.
On one of Marilee’s driving shifts, the jeep started slowing down. We happened upon a truck stop where we were told we needed a new part. They would order it and it would be shipped out by Greyhound. The truck stop had rooms so we rented one for the 3 of us. It was here that Marilee and I had a chance to talk about Joe’s driving and decided to tell him that he couldn’t drive anymore if he didn’t sleep.
The mechanics were in slow gear, close to being in reverse. The part didn’t arrive on the bus the next morning and after nagging them, it was suggested they could install something else, somehow. Just then another Greyhound bus pulled in and the ordered part was delivered. Job completed and a good night’s rest, we were on our way again.
We made a stop to visit with Marilee’s friends in Madison, Wisconsin, before returning to Canada where we headed for Toronto. We dropped Joe off. Turned out he didn’t have enough money to pay his share either.
Marilee and I rented an apartment on the top floor of an old 3 story house. I went to visit my Aunt Marg where she worked and started working there the same day.
I spent a few years living and working in Toronto. I took a driving trip to Florida with my bosses brother. Summers were spent at the cottage country. I eventually met Alan and moved back to live with him in Quesnel, B.C. after moving back home to Calgary.
There are many stories within the stories. Memories all in this present moment. Relationships and friendships that have come and gone, all but forgot.
So this is how I landed in Toronto on this life journey of mine.
Dec 1, 2008 Memoir Writing Homework Assignment > Young Adult Story 2
It was 1975 and I was living in Vancouver. I had met Marilee at work. We had done a couple of Market Research surveys together when one day she told me that she was looking for a couple of people to share costs and help drive her jeep to Toronto where she was going to go to University. I volunteered. A friend showed us everything there was to know about cars. He had us change a tire and check the oil etc.
We packed her jeep to the roof. There was just enough room for someone to stretch out diagonally across the top of everything to get some sleep. A man answered her ad and became the third driver. He was meeting us in Calgary at my parents, after he went to Edmonton. The plan was to take shifts driving with one of us getting some sleep.
January 1st, Marilee and I headed to Calgary. Our friend had not taught us anything about fuses blowing, which happened to us while driving late at night near Cache Creek leaving us with no head lights. We flagged a car down and learned about fuses from that kind gentleman. He switched fuses around so we had head lights.
Randy hadn’t taught us about thermostats either. Turns out the jeep had a summer thermostat installed in it, which was why we couldn’t get any heat from the heater. The dealer at Cache Creek didn’t have one in stock so we bundled up in sweaters and coats, gloves and scarves pressing on, planning to get one when we got to Calgary. We stopped in Banff at the Hot Springs pool to get warmed up. Coming down the hill from the pool we were sliding around on the snowy icy road and went into the ditch. Putting it into 4 wheel drive got us out. Driving into Calgary we were stopped at a police check and asked for a driver’s license, which we said was in our purse back there somewhere. We explained we were close to my parents place, our destination and explained about the thermostat problem explaining why we were scraping ice off the inside of the windshield and dressed in all our clothes. The guy waved us on.
When we were telling my parents about the thermostat, my dad asked why we hadn’t just put some cardboard in front of the radiator. A fix that I hadn’t remembered and Randy hadn’t taught us.
Joe, arrived a couple days later from Edmonton. Winter thermostat installed, we were ready to head east. We also had some cardboard in front of the radiator and had to stop at Chestermere Lake, just east of Calgary, to let things cool down because the radiator boiled over.
Somewhere along the way we dipped down into the U.S.A. After a few days we noticed Joe was not sleeping. He told us that he can’t sleep in a moving car. I remember one time late at night when he was driving through a small town, he stopped in the middle of an intersection when the light was green and then continued on when the light turned red.
On one of Marilee’s driving shifts, the jeep started slowing down. We happened upon a truck stop where we were told we needed a new part. They would order it and it would be shipped out by Greyhound. The truck stop had rooms so we rented one for the 3 of us. It was here that Marilee and I had a chance to talk about Joe’s driving and decided to tell him that he couldn’t drive anymore if he didn’t sleep.
The mechanics were in slow gear, close to being in reverse. The part didn’t arrive on the bus the next morning and after nagging them, it was suggested they could install something else, somehow. Just then another Greyhound bus pulled in and the ordered part was delivered. Job completed and a good night’s rest, we were on our way again.
We made a stop to visit with Marilee’s friends in Madison, Wisconsin, before returning to Canada where we headed for Toronto. We dropped Joe off. Turned out he didn’t have enough money to pay his share either.
Marilee and I rented an apartment on the top floor of an old 3 story house. I went to visit my Aunt Marg where she worked and started working there the same day.
I spent a few years living and working in Toronto. I took a driving trip to Florida with my bosses brother. Summers were spent at the cottage country. I eventually met Alan and moved back to live with him in Quesnel, B.C. after moving back home to Calgary.
There are many stories within the stories. Memories all in this present moment. Relationships and friendships that have come and gone, all but forgot.
So this is how I landed in Toronto on this life journey of mine.
Dec 1, 2008 Memoir Writing Homework Assignment > Young Adult Story 2
Monday, December 01, 2008
Auntie Philippa
Auntie Philippa
It was like I woke up one morning and started remembering my life. Just bits and pieces to begin with. As I got older, family stories began to fill in the blanks.
When I was 6 years old, we moved into to a bigger house two streets over and at the other end of the same block.
I have many memories of my life growing up in the ‘small’ house. My younger brother and I slept in bunk beds in one of the two bedrooms. One family story is that we used to live in the garage when mom and dad first brought me home from the hospital.
It was a safe, quiet neighborhood. We were told not to bother the people in the big old house next door that was surrounded by tall evergreen trees. They had no kids and we rarely saw them. Years later I heard a story that, that couple were ‘not married’, which would have been a big deal in the 1950’s. It was an era of keeping things from the kids to shelter and protect them. Like not taking kids to funerals so they wouldn’t get upset or be somehow scarred for life. And all along, kids knowing something is not right and wondering what they did wrong.
Like when Auntie Philippa vanished from our lives. I remember Auntie Phil and Uncle Jake visiting regularly and I was always excited to see them. I don’t really know the how or why, but I do know that Auntie Phil influenced my life. She was one of those corner stone bricks of my foundation. Maybe she played with me and paid attention to me. Or maybe it is as simple as the gift of the doll that was as big as I was. I cherished and loved that doll for years. I even rescued it from the garbage when mom tried to throw it away.
As time went by, Uncle Jake began visiting with Marlene. She was nice too. They eventually got married and had kids.
Years later, more bits and pieces of the puzzle were revealed. Turns out that Auntie Phil was my mom’s best childhood friend and they weren’t our Aunt and Uncle after all. And Philippa and Jake had gotten a divorce.
To this day the story continues to change dimensions. Through the years I have wondered if I should contact and visit Auntie Phil. Does she know she had this impact on me?
Writing this has also opened my eyes and now has me wondering how this was from my mom’s perspective. There must have been lots of conversations and decisions made at the time. One more example of doing the best you can with what you know at the time.
It was like I woke up one morning and started remembering my life. Just bits and pieces to begin with. As I got older, family stories began to fill in the blanks.
When I was 6 years old, we moved into to a bigger house two streets over and at the other end of the same block.
I have many memories of my life growing up in the ‘small’ house. My younger brother and I slept in bunk beds in one of the two bedrooms. One family story is that we used to live in the garage when mom and dad first brought me home from the hospital.
It was a safe, quiet neighborhood. We were told not to bother the people in the big old house next door that was surrounded by tall evergreen trees. They had no kids and we rarely saw them. Years later I heard a story that, that couple were ‘not married’, which would have been a big deal in the 1950’s. It was an era of keeping things from the kids to shelter and protect them. Like not taking kids to funerals so they wouldn’t get upset or be somehow scarred for life. And all along, kids knowing something is not right and wondering what they did wrong.
Like when Auntie Philippa vanished from our lives. I remember Auntie Phil and Uncle Jake visiting regularly and I was always excited to see them. I don’t really know the how or why, but I do know that Auntie Phil influenced my life. She was one of those corner stone bricks of my foundation. Maybe she played with me and paid attention to me. Or maybe it is as simple as the gift of the doll that was as big as I was. I cherished and loved that doll for years. I even rescued it from the garbage when mom tried to throw it away.
As time went by, Uncle Jake began visiting with Marlene. She was nice too. They eventually got married and had kids.
Years later, more bits and pieces of the puzzle were revealed. Turns out that Auntie Phil was my mom’s best childhood friend and they weren’t our Aunt and Uncle after all. And Philippa and Jake had gotten a divorce.
To this day the story continues to change dimensions. Through the years I have wondered if I should contact and visit Auntie Phil. Does she know she had this impact on me?
Writing this has also opened my eyes and now has me wondering how this was from my mom’s perspective. There must have been lots of conversations and decisions made at the time. One more example of doing the best you can with what you know at the time.
Brace Yourself
BRACE YOURSELF
Childhood stories have long reaching arms that link and shape our present day decisions. These ‘now’ moments link to past moments and to the anticipation of future moments.
When I was 11, my parents made decisions for me. This time they were told, by the trusted family dentist, that I needed braces. I remember that my parents had been concerned that my younger brother, Gerry, would need braces. No worries about me. I had no warning. I was there for the regular dentist visit. All of a sudden the dentist was saying that my brother would probably get his teeth knock out playing sports so not to bother with braces for him. But that I should go to an orthodontist because as the x-rays showed, I needed braces.
So began my 3 year journey of pain, humiliation and embarrassment. Four teeth pulled to make room in my mouth. In the 1960’s, braces were a mouthful of metal linking the teeth together. There was a ‘retainer’, a contraption worn outside the mouth that hooked onto the braces and put more tension on the teeth to get them moving faster. Luckily I didn’t have to wear the retainer in public, only every night while I slept.
The ridicule at school was relentless. There was also a boy with braces. He was popular, part of the “in” crowd. I was in the “out” crowd. The other kids were always trying to get us to kiss, laughing that our braces would get locked together. I started smiling without showing my teeth. My life, as well as my teeth, was reshaped.
The final product of decent looking straight teeth promised to better my life. More issues arose in my adult life. At a dental check-up years later, I was asked if I had had braces. The evidence on the x-rays showing short roots told the story. Apparently it was found that back when I had braces the teeth were moved too fast which caused this damage. Things are done differently these days. Or the time I went to the old family dentist for a check-up when I was back home for a holiday. He told me to come back for another appointment to get 2 cavities filled. I never did. Money was part of my decision making. Years later at an appointment with a new dentist, there was no mention of any cavities. Who was right, the old trusted family dentist who once made me stand in the coat closet because he didn’t believe he was hurting me and that I had no reason to be crying or this stranger! In later years I had found out that yes, some people have more sensitive teeth. And again a few years after that, at yet a third dentist, there was no mention of any cavities. This time I spoke up and told that dentist that I had been told that I had 2 cavities. He checked again and found nothing. So now should I be angry with the trusted family doctor or all of us for trusting him. Or had my body somehow fixed the cavities that the old family dentist had found!
Then there was the specialist that took cancer patients. I had been told about her by another patient who also told me that it was important for Cancer patients to get regular dental check-ups, something that I had never heard before. This dentist was as wonderful as Valerie had said she was. For the 1st time I looked forward to my annual dentist appointments. Then one year this dentist said I needed to get the back tooth pulled. She found it too difficult to clean it. It would be more convenient for her if it was removed.
Money still being a big part of my decision making process, I decided not to get the tooth pulled. The following year, the dentist was clearly irritated that I had not followed her instructions and that the tooth was still there. She informed me that she was no longer taking regular patients and that I would have to find another dentist as this would be the last visit with her. All the fears of being abandoned came flooding back. It took a few years and a filling to fall out to get me to a dentist again. And then not regularly, mostly for some emergency like my Thursday appointment after the ‘Memoirs Writing’ class where I got the idea for this homework assignment, even though I like the new dentist I had found.
As I reflected on my decisions, I wondered whom do I believe – the orthodontist of my youth that would have removed that tooth if it should have been or the present day dentist who wanted to make things more convenient for her. The choice was clear. Again money played a part in this decision after all it had cost my parents over $2000 for my braces.
In my 40’s and 50’s I began healing unresolved issues by looking at my parent’s perspective, understanding that they made sacrifices to pay for my braces. Understanding the broader picture has shifted things. I hear something different now when my mom continually asks me if I am taking care of my teeth.
My mouthful of teeth fall short in this day and age of teeth whitening products and porcelain veneers pushing us to believe that we need them to have the perfect smile. The end of this many layered childhood story has yet to be discovered. Will I circum to the voices of advertisements or will money issues again save me from myself!
Lynn Keeling
November 16, 2008
Childhood stories have long reaching arms that link and shape our present day decisions. These ‘now’ moments link to past moments and to the anticipation of future moments.
When I was 11, my parents made decisions for me. This time they were told, by the trusted family dentist, that I needed braces. I remember that my parents had been concerned that my younger brother, Gerry, would need braces. No worries about me. I had no warning. I was there for the regular dentist visit. All of a sudden the dentist was saying that my brother would probably get his teeth knock out playing sports so not to bother with braces for him. But that I should go to an orthodontist because as the x-rays showed, I needed braces.
So began my 3 year journey of pain, humiliation and embarrassment. Four teeth pulled to make room in my mouth. In the 1960’s, braces were a mouthful of metal linking the teeth together. There was a ‘retainer’, a contraption worn outside the mouth that hooked onto the braces and put more tension on the teeth to get them moving faster. Luckily I didn’t have to wear the retainer in public, only every night while I slept.
The ridicule at school was relentless. There was also a boy with braces. He was popular, part of the “in” crowd. I was in the “out” crowd. The other kids were always trying to get us to kiss, laughing that our braces would get locked together. I started smiling without showing my teeth. My life, as well as my teeth, was reshaped.
The final product of decent looking straight teeth promised to better my life. More issues arose in my adult life. At a dental check-up years later, I was asked if I had had braces. The evidence on the x-rays showing short roots told the story. Apparently it was found that back when I had braces the teeth were moved too fast which caused this damage. Things are done differently these days. Or the time I went to the old family dentist for a check-up when I was back home for a holiday. He told me to come back for another appointment to get 2 cavities filled. I never did. Money was part of my decision making. Years later at an appointment with a new dentist, there was no mention of any cavities. Who was right, the old trusted family dentist who once made me stand in the coat closet because he didn’t believe he was hurting me and that I had no reason to be crying or this stranger! In later years I had found out that yes, some people have more sensitive teeth. And again a few years after that, at yet a third dentist, there was no mention of any cavities. This time I spoke up and told that dentist that I had been told that I had 2 cavities. He checked again and found nothing. So now should I be angry with the trusted family doctor or all of us for trusting him. Or had my body somehow fixed the cavities that the old family dentist had found!
Then there was the specialist that took cancer patients. I had been told about her by another patient who also told me that it was important for Cancer patients to get regular dental check-ups, something that I had never heard before. This dentist was as wonderful as Valerie had said she was. For the 1st time I looked forward to my annual dentist appointments. Then one year this dentist said I needed to get the back tooth pulled. She found it too difficult to clean it. It would be more convenient for her if it was removed.
Money still being a big part of my decision making process, I decided not to get the tooth pulled. The following year, the dentist was clearly irritated that I had not followed her instructions and that the tooth was still there. She informed me that she was no longer taking regular patients and that I would have to find another dentist as this would be the last visit with her. All the fears of being abandoned came flooding back. It took a few years and a filling to fall out to get me to a dentist again. And then not regularly, mostly for some emergency like my Thursday appointment after the ‘Memoirs Writing’ class where I got the idea for this homework assignment, even though I like the new dentist I had found.
As I reflected on my decisions, I wondered whom do I believe – the orthodontist of my youth that would have removed that tooth if it should have been or the present day dentist who wanted to make things more convenient for her. The choice was clear. Again money played a part in this decision after all it had cost my parents over $2000 for my braces.
In my 40’s and 50’s I began healing unresolved issues by looking at my parent’s perspective, understanding that they made sacrifices to pay for my braces. Understanding the broader picture has shifted things. I hear something different now when my mom continually asks me if I am taking care of my teeth.
My mouthful of teeth fall short in this day and age of teeth whitening products and porcelain veneers pushing us to believe that we need them to have the perfect smile. The end of this many layered childhood story has yet to be discovered. Will I circum to the voices of advertisements or will money issues again save me from myself!
Lynn Keeling
November 16, 2008
Gems from Louise Hay book
Gems from Louise Hay book
Confusion, a head full of questioning. No room for the answers. Around and around I went. Not wanting to ask, questioning the answers when they were able to fit in. Ah, what a journey.
So simple. The trick is to remember. To love myself in the moment. To lighten up on myself. To love the process no matter how yucky it feels. To trust myself and my abilities. To trust the bigger picture. To trust the universe. To trust God.
Sometimes I notice that I don't ask because I don't want the answer yet. So I give myself permission to "distance" myself for the moment. Trusting that the right time for me will come soon. All is well. All is as it should be in each and every moment.
So, I got around to asking my valued friend the questions I had been struggling with. His simple reminder was the key. I wasn't trusting myself. When the shoe fits... shifts happen in an instant.
He suggested I get the Louise Hay book and look up the various parts of the body. SMILE !!! Of course I already have that book. Dah!!!
It still took me a day to get around to taking it off my bookshelf and scan through it. What a laugh. My story in print already. LOL
So now I am off to write a stack of cards of affirmations from the book.
Keep well. Feel free to connect with me. Lets discover the reason you found this site.
Creator of my lifes journey in love. LynnK
Confusion, a head full of questioning. No room for the answers. Around and around I went. Not wanting to ask, questioning the answers when they were able to fit in. Ah, what a journey.
So simple. The trick is to remember. To love myself in the moment. To lighten up on myself. To love the process no matter how yucky it feels. To trust myself and my abilities. To trust the bigger picture. To trust the universe. To trust God.
Sometimes I notice that I don't ask because I don't want the answer yet. So I give myself permission to "distance" myself for the moment. Trusting that the right time for me will come soon. All is well. All is as it should be in each and every moment.
So, I got around to asking my valued friend the questions I had been struggling with. His simple reminder was the key. I wasn't trusting myself. When the shoe fits... shifts happen in an instant.
He suggested I get the Louise Hay book and look up the various parts of the body. SMILE !!! Of course I already have that book. Dah!!!
It still took me a day to get around to taking it off my bookshelf and scan through it. What a laugh. My story in print already. LOL
So now I am off to write a stack of cards of affirmations from the book.
Keep well. Feel free to connect with me. Lets discover the reason you found this site.
Creator of my lifes journey in love. LynnK
REFLECTions
Reflections
REFLECTions by Lynn July 13, 2006
Reflective idea’s spring forth to my conscious awareness, as I continue to enjoy Brigid Ting’s Level 3 “T.T. in the Garden” workshop held on July 8 + 9, 2006. My many on going ah ha moments, began to surface before the weekend and continue on as I struggle to write this, noticing my need to get it perfect by selecting the perfect words that say what I mean them to say. So much for, “keeping it simple”, “being detached from outcome” and following the rule of “not using 2 words when 1 will do”.
I have discovered that it is easier to document someone else’s story, partly because I am not emotionally invested. So, as I again re center, I will choose to get on with ‘it’.
The steps of T.T. can be useful tools for writing. Especially when documenting a profound experience that we are emotionally attached to, such as documenting a T.T. case study.
Centered and grounded, I can objectively document coming from a place of detached non judgment with no expectations of outcome and a clear intention with conscious attention.
Assessing, reassessing, clarifying, readjusting and rewriting thoughts that are presented.
Unruffling / Modulating by rebalancing, smoothing out the rough edges. Taking away what is not needed and adding to what is needed. Creating a balance, a streamlined report that captures the essence of the event.
Stopping, when there is nothing more needed to be said.
These steps can also be used during conversations, developing our ‘sustained centering’ muscles as we practice active listening. Re centering when we notice we have tuned out and have no idea what was just said. Or when driving / walking / cycling by being in the moment, actively aware of the present, instead of missing the journey from point A to B. A valuable exercise is, to do an assessment of our centering process.
Let’s become more consciously aware of our assessing and re assessing process that we are automatically involved in, in every moment. Noticing when we slip into judgment for example.
Practice rebalancing by streamlining our conversations. Remembering “less is best”.
Actively enhance brainpower by engaging in reading, writing, creating. Do crossword puzzles, memorize things, take courses, play music, sing. Do something new / different each day. Learn and use a new word everyday. And the list goes on….
Language is also part of the T.T. process and T.T. steps can be used to analyze language.
Centered and grounded, we keep our words short and simple, avoiding over explaining. It might be wise to take time to center before dialoguing with a client. Setting aside ego and facilitating the client’s process.
Assessment skills continually monitor client’s responses. Assessment includes total communication experience – ie. body language, what’s not said, etc.
Unruffling / Modulation – listening to and adjusting to client’s needs. Listening to and honoring client’s process. ie. touch / no touch. Offering suggestions and giving client permission to accept what they want.
Stopping dialogue and getting on with T.T. Honoring self. ie. Choosing not to do T.T.
The T.T. assumption that energy follows thought is another segment of language worth looking at. Confirmed by reassessing, directing energy flow with our thoughts changes the energy field.
It stands to reason, that this power of thoughts applies to all our thoughts. What we think manifests. ie. Negative self talk – I can’t relax, becomes a truth. Our body hears this and obeys. We are right.
“Repetitive” thoughts are like nagging ourselves into creating what we ask for.
Developing language skills means examining what we want and don’t want. Changing our thoughts and spoken words to reflect the reality that we desire. Taking an honest assessment and reassessments of ourselves.
Making changes. Keeping it simple. Small changes / shifts / steps. ie. sitting in a different place, picking up glass with other hand, opening door with other hand. Anything that will remind us that we are making a bigger change. Setting ourselves up for success. Using affirmations for example. ie. “No blame, no guilt, no regrets.” Changing language, ie “should” to “could”. Being patient and gentle with ourselves. Treating ourselves like we would like others to treat us. Treating others like we would like to be treated by others. Letting go of judgment and expectations, blame and guilt.
Using the tool of our breath to connect. It’s free and always with us.
Observing. Noticing the coincidences that surround us. Learn from networking and sharing with others. And just as in T.T., ending with a dialogue, getting feedback. Finding out what works and what doesn’t.
So, I invite you to share your assessments and your own reflective stories.
REFLECTions by Lynn July 13, 2006
Reflective idea’s spring forth to my conscious awareness, as I continue to enjoy Brigid Ting’s Level 3 “T.T. in the Garden” workshop held on July 8 + 9, 2006. My many on going ah ha moments, began to surface before the weekend and continue on as I struggle to write this, noticing my need to get it perfect by selecting the perfect words that say what I mean them to say. So much for, “keeping it simple”, “being detached from outcome” and following the rule of “not using 2 words when 1 will do”.
I have discovered that it is easier to document someone else’s story, partly because I am not emotionally invested. So, as I again re center, I will choose to get on with ‘it’.
The steps of T.T. can be useful tools for writing. Especially when documenting a profound experience that we are emotionally attached to, such as documenting a T.T. case study.
Centered and grounded, I can objectively document coming from a place of detached non judgment with no expectations of outcome and a clear intention with conscious attention.
Assessing, reassessing, clarifying, readjusting and rewriting thoughts that are presented.
Unruffling / Modulating by rebalancing, smoothing out the rough edges. Taking away what is not needed and adding to what is needed. Creating a balance, a streamlined report that captures the essence of the event.
Stopping, when there is nothing more needed to be said.
These steps can also be used during conversations, developing our ‘sustained centering’ muscles as we practice active listening. Re centering when we notice we have tuned out and have no idea what was just said. Or when driving / walking / cycling by being in the moment, actively aware of the present, instead of missing the journey from point A to B. A valuable exercise is, to do an assessment of our centering process.
Let’s become more consciously aware of our assessing and re assessing process that we are automatically involved in, in every moment. Noticing when we slip into judgment for example.
Practice rebalancing by streamlining our conversations. Remembering “less is best”.
Actively enhance brainpower by engaging in reading, writing, creating. Do crossword puzzles, memorize things, take courses, play music, sing. Do something new / different each day. Learn and use a new word everyday. And the list goes on….
Language is also part of the T.T. process and T.T. steps can be used to analyze language.
Centered and grounded, we keep our words short and simple, avoiding over explaining. It might be wise to take time to center before dialoguing with a client. Setting aside ego and facilitating the client’s process.
Assessment skills continually monitor client’s responses. Assessment includes total communication experience – ie. body language, what’s not said, etc.
Unruffling / Modulation – listening to and adjusting to client’s needs. Listening to and honoring client’s process. ie. touch / no touch. Offering suggestions and giving client permission to accept what they want.
Stopping dialogue and getting on with T.T. Honoring self. ie. Choosing not to do T.T.
The T.T. assumption that energy follows thought is another segment of language worth looking at. Confirmed by reassessing, directing energy flow with our thoughts changes the energy field.
It stands to reason, that this power of thoughts applies to all our thoughts. What we think manifests. ie. Negative self talk – I can’t relax, becomes a truth. Our body hears this and obeys. We are right.
“Repetitive” thoughts are like nagging ourselves into creating what we ask for.
Developing language skills means examining what we want and don’t want. Changing our thoughts and spoken words to reflect the reality that we desire. Taking an honest assessment and reassessments of ourselves.
Making changes. Keeping it simple. Small changes / shifts / steps. ie. sitting in a different place, picking up glass with other hand, opening door with other hand. Anything that will remind us that we are making a bigger change. Setting ourselves up for success. Using affirmations for example. ie. “No blame, no guilt, no regrets.” Changing language, ie “should” to “could”. Being patient and gentle with ourselves. Treating ourselves like we would like others to treat us. Treating others like we would like to be treated by others. Letting go of judgment and expectations, blame and guilt.
Using the tool of our breath to connect. It’s free and always with us.
Observing. Noticing the coincidences that surround us. Learn from networking and sharing with others. And just as in T.T., ending with a dialogue, getting feedback. Finding out what works and what doesn’t.
So, I invite you to share your assessments and your own reflective stories.
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